Coming to you from the backseat of the “Wonder Wagon” yet again, as our 19 year old navigator argues with the g.p.s. (glad it’s not me). Finn is the copilot today and Sunny and I are on snack duty with the youngest three monkeys in the rear in charge of bringing the ruckus and giggles.
It’s another early morning on the road. See we live in the center of Florida and so even though that is amazing because we are in the middle of all the wonders of Florida while simultaneously being in the middle of nowhere it also means most trips require a 1-3 hour road trip and we are scheduled to go on field trips once a week this school year.
So today I am going to share with you our latest field trip to the Brevard Zoo in Melbourne FL. , this one got 5 stars from our wild bunch in all categories. We will be rating our field trips this year by price, educational value, accessibility and family friendliness.
Let me paint you a picture: seven people. One Wonder Wagon. A box of snacks and sandwiches. And the combined energy of a small solar flare. That, dear reader, is how our homeschooling family rolled out to the Brevard Zoo Wednesday before last— 10 minutes behind schedule and exactly 37 seconds away from a mutiny over who got to sit next to the window.
Now, you may think a zoo field trip sounds simple. Wholesome. Educational. A calm, structured excursion into the wonders of biology and conservation.
You would be wrong.
Chapter 1: The Bathroom Gauntlet
Our adventure began not at the giraffe feeding platform or the meerkat exhibit — no, it began at the restrooms, where three children suddenly realized they might have to pee. After 20 minutes of rotating bathroom visits, kinder negotiations, and a brief hostage situation involving a hand dryer, we finally passed through the entrance. The animals weren’t even the main attraction at that point — we were.
Chapter 2: The Map Disagreement (a.k.a. the Cartography Crisis of 2025)
I gave the kids a map to make it feel more educational. Rookie mistake. Within seconds, our 11 year-old declared himself “Head Zoological Navigator,” while his 8-year-old sister launched a full coup, yelling, “YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING, EMYRIC!”
The map was eventually confiscated and replaced with mom-powered navigation, which is really just guessing where the loudest animal noises are coming from and heading that way.
Chapter 3: Giraffes, Drool, and Existential Questions
The giraffe feeding deck was a highlight. Beautiful, majestic creatures — and I’m not just talking about my kids covered in twinkle eyed wonder.(Honestly I was too). I mean seeing them be so inspired by the world they are charged to care for. These animals truly inspired my kiddos
“Mom, why are their tongues BLUE?”
“Mom, do giraffes have neck bones?”
“Mom, what if giraffes were short and had wings?”
All valid questions. No time to Google. I gave my standard homeschool mom answer:
“That’s a great question. Let’s research it when we get home!”
(Translation: I have no idea, please stop asking me things while I’m holding a bag of lettuce and dodging giraffe spit.)
Chapter 4: The lorikeet Room
Seriously, the best part of the zoo for most of my children, except….. The youngest! He loves birds but apparently if you place him face to face with a group of hungry lorikeets all that love goes straight out the window.
Chapter 5: The Gift Shop Gauntlet
You haven’t known true fear until you’ve taken children into a gift shop with $3.57 in combined allowance and big dreams. Negotiations became intense. There was weeping. There were bribes. I may have offered someone a trip to Target card to leave without buying a plush sloth.
Eventually, everyone walked out with a sticker and a deeper understanding of capitalism.
Final Tally:
- Number of times someone asked, “Can we get a lorikeet as a pet?”: 5
- Animal facts actually learned: endless
- Snacks consumed: All of them
- Sanity level: Somewhere between “feral” and “functioning”
- Memories made: A million
Conclusion:
Homeschooling isn’t always tidy. It’s loud, unpredictable, and often sticky. But it’s also full of moments like watching your kids gape at a jaguar walking above their heads on a cat walk, seeing them bond with a baby spider monkey or explain to a stranger that zebras are not actually white with black stripes, thankyouverymuch.
Would I do it again?
Absolutely. Right after coffee! In all seriousness though we loved this zoo! in 15 years of homeschooling we have traveled to many a zoo and never felt as close and connected to the animals as we did here.The volunteers here were amongst the most knowledgeable and kind hearted people we have encountered at any of the zoos we have visited.There were also countless encounters and excursions at extremely reasonable prices that we are excited to do on our next trip here and there will be a next trip.
PS: If you’re a homeschool parent planning your own trip to the Brevard Zoo, here are my tips:
- Bring snacks, wipes, and a well-rested attitude.
- Assign a “Snack Sherpa” — someone to carry the food and wield it as a peace offering.
- Always double-check your child hasn’t packed a frog in their backpack before leaving.
Stay wild, homeschoolers. 🦁🐍🦩
Florida Field Trip Diaries 
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